So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
