don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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