i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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