i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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