Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize