I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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