he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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