i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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