So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize