Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's the barista slut.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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