Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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