Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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