you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
