Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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