You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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