my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
