You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize