u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
