Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
