hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
