the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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