Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
