Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
