My hair reeks of homosexuality.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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