Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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