"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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