dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
