we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
