So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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