she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
