I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
