do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
