At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
