After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize