things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We need to get me chipped asap
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
