yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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