He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize