Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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