I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
