you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
