What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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