dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
