i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
They have beer where we have blood.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
