eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize