6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
