I'm sorry my penis didn't work
from now on my penis is your penis
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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