what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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