my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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