Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize