do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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