At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
