so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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