What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
