so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
