4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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