He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
