Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
