Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

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(936): View more from Texas

My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

i should start naming my morning wood

(201): View more from New Jersey

great idea but wrong number

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.

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(705): View more from Ontario

All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.

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(858): View more from California

I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.

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(661): View more from California

Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action

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