We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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