Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
