If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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