mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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