answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
