Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
