"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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