why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
