"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
