She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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