Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
