id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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