Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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