At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
