Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
