I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize