At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
