His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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