Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
