Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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