Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
