Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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